The first time i saw her i was dreaming, this is how she works you see. I don’t know what else to call her other than a dream walker and she is by far the most powerful and dangerous spirit/entity i have ever dealt with to date, and as this is an ongoing situation i am sure this will not be the only time i mention her.
I was in a pub i must have been the only person as i saw no one else. It had the low head grazing ceilings with the dark beams and the walls were painted a pleasant pink/red. It looked like a fairly modern day pub with large windows that looked out onto a quiet country lane surrounded by hedgerows. The room in which i was standing was being used as storage for bits of furniture, there were several chests of drawers and an antique writing bureau along with some old fashioned arm chairs with tatty threadbare arms. I was suddenly aware of another presence in the room circling me, like a wolf bearing down on a wounded deer. I spun on the spot trying to get a glimpse of what was stalking me and i became disorientated like my my senses were being thrown around in the eye of a hurricane. I dropped to the floor and panicking i shuffled backwards towards a shabby white piece of furniture so my back was against something solid. I always feel vulnerable if i sense a presence and my back is exposed to a space behind me. With my heart beating in my ears and my knees drawn up to my chest i waited trying to calm the fear that had risen within my chest to fever pitch levels. I saw no one coming at me from the front and i felt the acute sense of danger retreating much to my relief. I was bringing my breathing back under control when came a noise from above me, a death rattle slow and drawn out, i slowly raised my head to look up and a form was looming over the top of the chest of drawers i was leaning against.
It was a woman slight and pale with ash blonde hair piled up on the top of her head, it so fair it was almost white, prominent cheekbones and large piercing light grey eyes. She was striking and beautiful…..except for her mouth. It stretched unnaturally wide into a black gaping chasm with torn flesh around the edges, from deep within that hole the awful noise came again as she reached down and swooped for me. I stomach dropped like a stone and a wave of nausea hit me, i could not do anything but scream. I was frozen in fear and my nerves were on fire they wanted to react, shake me, make me jump up just anything to get me away from her but they were strangely paralysed at the same time. I woke up screaming, not a loud scream but a half scream half whimper and i quickly sat myself up and in a cold sweat placed one of my trembling hands against my thudding heart. My door creaked open and i jumped.
“Amz…are you Ok?” It was Lil she was staying with me at the time in the house where i am currently living and my sleepy attempt at screaming had woken her up.
“Yeah…i just had a fucked up dream.” I replied trying to steady my shaky breath. She went back to bed and i sat there in the darkness for a few minutes thinking it was just that before i lay back down and fell into a light sleep. I didn’t give it much thought after that, i do sometimes suffer with nightmares that are truly horrifying so that’s what i chalked it up to. I didn’t see her again for about a year and a half until early one morning around 6am i had been having a normal dream about mundane things when it changed into something else. I saw me lying in my bed from a vantage point in the corner of my room and there was a haggard old crone hovering a couple of feet directly above me. She was in a face down lying position with what looked like an old fashioned nightdress, she had matted dirty grey and brown hair and i did not get a look at her face as it was obscured. My sleep state had changed and i became acutely aware that although i was now in a light state of sleep i could open my eyes and wake up if i wanted, but it didn’t make sense i shouldn’t have been having a dream as vivid as this in this phase of sleep. I thought about opening my eyes, but decided against it as i felt something was amiss, i knew that a presence was nearby. I rolled over and tried to get myself back off to sleep properly for another hour or so. Again i put this occurrence down to being just a dream even though i was positive i felt a spirit within the vicinity, though she looked different this time as so much time had passed i never linked the two events.
Roughly four days later something similar happened again, i had been dreaming about being out shopping for clothes when it was interrupted and i switched to that light state of slumber, i was on my front with my face half buried in the pillow when through my closed eyelids i saw the early morning light start to black out like a shadow had crept up behind me. I felt the hairs rise on the back of my neck, she was here again mere inched behind my head boring a hole into me with her eyes. I knew for certain that this was not a dream, whoever this was was a real spirit manipulating my sleeping state. I could have opened my eyes and got up but fear kept me rooted in place and i scrunched my eyes closed a little tighter and waited to fall back asleep again. When i woke up a short while later she was gone it was just me and my Cat Otis in the silence of the bedroom.
A week went by before she waltzed into my dreams again this time it was a bit different i was dreaming about some sort of commotion in the block of flats where i live and people were arguing and scuffling out in the communal hallway. It was night time and the air felt electric with trouble i came out trying to calm several of the guys down before a full blown fight erupted with me at the centre and after getting cracked in the mouth accidentally i joined in taking my fury out on one of the random men. Next thing i remember seeing is police in full blown riot gear charging up the stairs behind us and they separated us and dragged us down out into the street one by one. While they were struggling to haul one of the men into a police van three of us were still cuffed and sat on the floor. One of the men said something and i threw myself at him ready to go for round two, i was unusually angry even for a dream. The police ran over and tried to break us up when in the ensuing chaos i was aware of someone creeping around the edge of the tight formation of heaving bodies and flying fists. Through the gaps i glimpsed her again and i could feel a scream burning in my throat, haggard in appearance with her hair in her face, back crooked and her gnarled hands hanging loose at her sides. She was moving towards us deliberately slow, she wanted me to know she was there and that she was coming for me. I tried to get on of the officers attentions to tell him when she lunged through the group and bit down deep into the flesh on my forearm. When she pulled away she vanished and i looked down and saw a septic wound oozing with pus and crawling with maggots, it was excruciatingly painful and i bolted up in bed torn from sleep violently by the pain and clutching at my arm, using my phones torch i looked to check myself thinking i would see teeth marks. It was a bit red but it wasn’t a bite. I now highly suspect that she had pinched me hard and made it look like she had bitten me in my dream. That fleshy section on the side of my arm was tender for a few days.
A couple of nights later i had been in a deep sleep when i awoke abruptly. My covers were off me and although i could not see anyone i was aware that something was looming over the side of my bed studying me. As i sleep naked i was immediately self conscious about being uncovered and slowly reached for my quilt and dragged it across me. Now this was not her, it was a rogue shadow man that had somehow wandered into my space which i had never had happen before. I actually caught the entity on film the next day, and that same morning i received news that someone close to our family had been found dead. Looking back i find the timing of this other entities appearance strange. Had she led it to me? had he sniffed her out and knew she had been looking for a sensitive that he could also feed off of? was it aware of a death close by? I am not entirely sure.
Then everything became still, i had no more activity for several weeks and i remember telling one of my closest friends that my home had fallen eerily silent. Simong was MIA, the witch had disappeared and i had no random stragglers popping in and out. I knew something was amiss, i just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Then My beautiful cat Otis died suddenly one night i was distraught and even though i had managed to get him to a vets at 1:30 in the morning she was not able to save him, he was just shy of 4 and she suspected that he had a mass on his lung that had ruptured out of the blue. I was absolutely heartbroken as he was my baby and in hindsight i knew the silence was because my guides and my regular spirit companions knew what was coming. My teacher told me that they can view us from a birds eye perspective like we are on a road. They can see just behind and just in front so they usually have some sort of fore knowledge about what is approaching, and that is why a lot of people will notice and uptick in activity just before a significant life event. The fact that the witch had come in just before i was about to go through such heart ache made things too dangerous. With my emotions all over the place it would give her plenty of negative energy to use as literal nightmare fuel embedding her deeper into my space and energy field, so in the end my guides shut me down completely as a last resort safety measure that lasted three and a half years in total.
It was surreal and strange i was not used to the spiritual silence so i almost felt lonely in an odd kind of way but it was also nice to not have to worry about who was going to next come through my door potentially causing havoc. I thought she had gone for good, i hoped she had gone for good… i thought that with no negative emotions to feed her she would either starve or move on elsewhere to someone else. I was wrong….. she was just dormant for a while, always watching and waiting in the background, the bitch even mocked me when she came back.
As usual my normal dream sequence morphed into something much darker one night, my room was dark and it was as if i had opened my eyes and i could see my quilt hovering a few feet above me in the air, i could make out the surroundings of my room through the gap between me and it, murky shapes of my furniture came into view in the dark. Then i noticed someone was moving around my bed, i could see their form pacing back and forth and the realisation of who it was hit me in the gut like a cannon ball. I was unable to move and all i could do was lay there powerless and watch the torso of someone retracing their steps around the lower half of my bed over and over again, then the form bent down and slid underneath the hovering bed cover and started to crawl up my bed over my body closer towards me, she was on top of me her face a few inches from mine with her matted hair dangling between us.
“You…thought i ….was ….gone..” She drawled in a sarcastic tone. I think at this point i was holding my breath and i had stopped blinking, for a few seconds i ceased functioning all together in pure terror at who i was face to face with. Then she shot back out and vanished and my covers dropped. I have never woken up so fast in my life, i jumped up my hands reached for my quilt to try and surround myself with something of comfort. Where the hell is it? It was not on my bed, i quickly glanced down the left side of my bed, no luck then i checked the right side which was next to the window. My whole quilt was stuffed down on the floor between the bed and the wall and i quickly snatched it up needing something for protection. It sounds stupid but knowing that i had been lay there completely naked with her in the room made me feel completely defenceless and my quilt was the only barrier between me and the dead at night. I know that what i was seeing in the room, within these visuals she was manipulating was what was actually happening and i am glad that i have not opened my eyes and looked directly at her in a waking state, i know that is what she wants.
The next night after work i refused to stay at home and i went to my mums instead and it would be a few months before she would return. This time in the dead of night i dreamt that the first version of the witch i had seen, the fair blond one luckily without the horrible gaping mouth this time was stood next to my bed and she had one of her hands around my throat choking me, i woke up gasping for breath clutching at my neck trying to remove the invisible fingers which rapidly faded away. It was about this time i started to realise that she had more power over me when i slept and the more i thought about her the more i connected on a spiritual level. I know that the two opposing versions of herself that she had shown me were her at two different stages of her life, the young striking, respected healer woman within the community and then the vengeful angry old crone who had been shunned and pushed out as the christian religion took hold in the region. I knew that she had been exceptionally gifted in life but towards the end of it people were suspicious of her and her folk magic and people who had once been her neighbours and friends and had sought her help and advice turned on her, pushing her from the familiarity of home, until she was nothing more than a ghost to be avoided on the edge of society. What i do not know is how she found me and what her deal is. I mean she clearly despises me but i cannot fathom why.
And this brings me to the events of the last couple of weeks which have become worryingly sinister. About two weeks ago i again was asleep and in this dream i felt myself being slowly lifted into the air by my throat, as i felt the life being squeezed out of me i saw her form clearly before me. She was her younger self her pale blonde hair was loose and it hung down her back, she was strikingly beautiful but there was a coldness set deep into her features, she did not only look at me like she hated me but she also looked annoyed this time as we hovered suspended in the air above my bed, she held me with one hand like i was weightless. Then i woke up and inhaled deeply to get some air into my lungs, i felt as if i had emerged from a deep dive under water desperate for oxygen, something was different about this time. There seemed to be a disconnect i knew she wasn’t actually in my room but she was working from outside the boundary. Simong was keeping her at bay somehow and an old friend who had recently passed told me some months ago that she was lurking out there on the periphery, so i know she is being pushed out but ……
she
is
pissed!
I am expecting some sort of huge push back from her over this and it has already started. In the last few days i have found a sharp wooden cocktail stick in my toddlers bottle which i know was not there when i filled it an hour earlier with juice and there is no way my little on can get hold of any as they are kept in the top drawer with my cutlery, and yesterday i had gotten up to get a drink while on a video call and returned to my seat and spotted something metal glinting in the light. I was a bobble headed pin used in sewing, it was exactly where i had been sat a minute before and thankfully i spotted it. Strangely it was similar to one of mine in my sewing tin but when i checked the round pack they are securely held in, they were all accounted for. So tomorrow i am going to be doing an exceptionally hardcore barrier erecting to keep her and any other negatives out. Although i am still trying to understand the mechanics of how she is getting things within my home if she herself is not able to.
So yeah there you have it a pissed off dream walking witch who can switch your sleep paralysis off. Highly unusual and incredibly dangerous, big question is why me?
I will keep you updated on any further developments as i know she is not likely going anywhere anytime soon.
Photo by Edilson Borges on Unsplash
The spirit in my shadow 