The parting gift from hell part 2.

Some months after the initial last wave started me and my sister had both slipped into a horrible state of oppression and rather than talking to one another about our problems we both bottled up and tried to deal with them separately. Both of us made attempts on our own lives and i was at the point where my insomnia was unbearable. I had a job in the local CO-OP and tried to stay out of the house as much as possible. It was the same for Lil she seemed to be at her friends house constantly and in hind sight i wish we had both reached out to one another. I was doing the typical teenage stuff, partying hard getting blind drunk embarrassing myself, and rather helpfully (cough..sarc mark) was discovering my own sexuality which led to me going through a regrettable promiscuous stage. I think it was my own messed up way of handling how i was feeling internally.

I practically lived at Po’s house during this time and when it was our very first week of college i stayed there so we could both find our feet in this new grown up world, we had each others backs for support. Po’s house was an old place which had historical ties to some sort of religious order. A couple of people had seen a monk around the grounds. Her boyfriend one night had been enjoying a cigarette outside the back door when he was stunned by the sight of a stereotypical monk in a brown habit appear out of no where a few feet down the garden, the apparition had slowly turned to look at him before turning away and walking straight through a 12 foot hedge without a sound. Po had her fair share of spooky experiences whilst there so it was nice to have someone i could talk to about all the crazy going down at home. Ginny Po’s mum was just awesome, feisty and a free spirit to boot who treated Po like an adult and i envied her freedom. I mean for fuck sake she was allowed to have a tipple of absinthe with her parents. To my mind then that was on a whole other level of cool and sophisticated, her mum was also a sensitive and deeply knowledgeable about the world of the paranormal and she gave me my first few lessons in how to deal with the spirits and set me up on a path for life.

Ginny regularly cleansed her home with smudge sticks and incense to keep the spirits there at bay and Po moaned that whenever i left the house she would have to start the cleansing process all over again as my chaotic energy was drawing them in like moths to a flame, but she ominously added ;

“They are not all ours Amy some of them you have brought from home.” with this statement the realisation hit me that some of them were attached to me rather than the house we lived in and i would be lying if i said i wasn’t scared. Even though i was fascinated with the paranormal did i really want this kind of activity to dog me my whole life? I remembered going and staying at my best friend Ab’s house and activity starting up there, and when we stayed at my nan and grandads home my mum came in the bedroom ashen faced to ask me and my sister if we had been knocking on the glass partition of the living room door, of course we hadn’t but it was the first time i had seen my mother truly freaked out by something she could not explain. At work it had become a regular occurrence to hear my name being called from the warehouse only to go in there and find it empty. Was this them i wondered at the time, the thought of being followed around by spirits in my normal day to day activities really creeped me out.

One night i had gone to Po’s and we were shut away in her room tinkering around with some guitars, one thing about Po is she is insanely creatively talented, she was a fantastic artist and loved to play music as well. I liked to dabble in it and she would teach me simple melodies. We were sat at opposite ends of her bed facing each other, strumming away making up silly tunes about some of our stranger teachers from school with the telly on low in the background. In the middle of an improvised tune about a great barbarian of a PE teacher we used to have, the tellies picture flicked over to static, we looked at one another with a raised eyebrow silently thinking the same thing. Reaching for the remote that was in between us on the bed she flipped it back over onto the previous channel and put the remote back. We tried to carry on but the humorous mood had left us and within a minute the screen switched back to static. I looked at her alarmed and she gave me a reassuring look and told me to ignore it. No sooner had she put the channel back for the second time and lay down the remote the static screen flipped on again, so she jumped up and turned the telly off having none of it.

We both hastily put down the guitars and both lay curled up in balls at the head of the bed just trying to have a normal conversation and not think about how the entire rooms energy had shifted. We had just started to calm ourselves down a bit when on my side of the bed a thunderous thud against the wood shifted the bed frame a couple of inches and i leapt into the air. You know them viral videos from a while back when you put a cucumber behind a cat and it suddenly jumps out of its skin, i imagine that was what i must have looked like and i swiftly crashed down on top of Po with an ooomph and a simultaneous What the fuck? as we smashed our heads together on impact in the ensuing panic.

Being the heartless bitch i was i weren’t planning on hanging around to see if she was OK and i jumped off the bed and ran down the stairs, luckily she was hot on my heels clutching at her forehead and grimacing. Ginny and her sister were downstairs watching the TV, cuppa’s in hand unaware of what was unfolding right above them, they unsurprisingly looked startled as we bolted into the living room like a pair of spooked mares. We sat on the sofa at the furthest end of the living room and i watched as a black shadow followed us in and crept along the wall from the direction of the hallway, it seemed to bloom like an ink blot and then darted behind Po’s aunt where it vanished. I asked her in a whisper if she saw it and before i could finish my sentence she sharply replied ” Of course… how could i not see it.” The older women in the room could see we were riled and sensing something was spiritually off they exchanged a strange look and told us to just stay there with them for the remainder of the evening until it was time for bed.

I don’t think either of us slept easy that night but little did i know Po was thinking up a strategy to get to the bottom of what was going on in my home. On the college bus travelling home one day she mentioned her friend Sara to me who was in her art class, i had met her briefly and she seemed lovely but i did not know a lot about her. Po started telling me that she was extremely gifted and that maybe she could help me in finding some answers. I reluctantly agreed secretly worried that it would stir things up even more but i was desperate to find out exactly who was haunting us and what i could do to try and rectify the situation.

One cold evening Po brought Sara round, mum was at work as usual and for once my sister was actually in the house with her best friend Naomi. As soon as she entered the house she seemed tense but attempted to make small talk all the while shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot with her arms folded in front of her. I’m not sure what i was expecting, i think a part of me thought it was going to be akin to Derek Acorah speaking out loud to spirit guides or something equally strange but she seemed fairly normal about the situation as we stood chatting in the living room. Sara did not say much about the ground floor area but that would all change as soon as she started climbing the stairs with me and Po following closely behind.

Aiming for my sisters room first she seemed to hesitate and let us go ahead of her. Now i do not know what she saw with her own two eyes but judging her reaction it was new to her as well, her eyes were darting all over the room as if following numerous things. Po asked her what it was she could see. “I don’t know, it is really strange. I do not know what this is.” She replied and gestured with a sweep of her hand, then she abruptly pointed at the built in wardrobe and asked if we usually kept it open. I told her that my sister would close it constantly but it would come open on its own and i spoke aloud my suspicions that it was some sort of portal, she did not confirm or deny but she made a point of saying we should try and block it off.

Next she wanted to check out my little box room and we followed her in, she was a lot more talkative this one and she told me that there was an older woman that spent most of her time in my room as she explained that she stayed a lot in this room before her death and i unwisely muttered something about her apparently being a not nice woman when me and Po heard two footsteps on the landing right behind us. Turning on cue we looked at each other and inched a bit more into the bedroom away from the phantom footfalls. Sara chuckled to herself and told us that the old woman was laughing at us. Now she didn’t clarify whether it was the kind of oh them pesky kid’s kind of laugh accompanied by the rolling of eyes or the This cheeky little bitch is going to pay aah ha ha ha sinister witch cackle variant, so i was not sure how to feel about all of this. She briefly mentioned about a big guy and the old breathy dude but she seemed to get really uncomfortable fast and didn’t want to do the walk through any more. I was disappointed as i wanted some more information, but seeing that she clearly did not want to be here any more i started down the stairs followed by Sara and then Po.

Sara then shouted quite aggressively “And shut them damn door’s now.” pointing to the black voids that lay behind them, I turned startled, in time to see Po pull a weird face and quickly dash and slam all the doors shut. Going back downstairs something felt very off with her and she was not in the mood to stand around and idly chat.

“Amy i’m not being rude but do you mind if we leave?” She asked me. I couldn’t hold her against her will and shake what she had seen out of her so i told her of course. Po rang her mum to come pick them up sharpish and i was pretty taken aback when Sara said she couldn’t bear to wait in the house, and could we wait outside on the little green over the road for Ginny. At this moment Lil and Nay decided to go out up the village, I wanted to protest and make her stay home with me but thought i might look a bit pathetic needing my little sister for protection, so i kept my mouth shut. It was all very strange but i agreed and trudged outside with them and waited. Me and Po chatted a bit while Sara was completely elsewhere mentally not engaging at all. To be quite honest now i thought she seemed odd and did not know what to make of her observations of our house, what little she did give was cryptic and aloof.

Ginny finally arrived to pick them up and we said our goodbyes. I remember just standing there in the cold over the road looking at the house thinking Shit what have i done, i have to go back in there alone. I went in the front door and immediately my attention was pulled to the top of the stairs where i could directly see the bathroom door. I’m not sure if Lil had left it ajar before she left but it had been closed before, the light was off inside and in the shadows a near solid grey face was staring down at me. We made eye contact and he held my gaze. He was ridiculously tall with a baby face and full cheeks topped off with floppy hair, i had never seen him like this before…It was Simong. Thinking back now his expression was a strange one, not smiling nor angry but almost smug that i could see him properly. I managed to look away and shut myself in the living room as i had gotten used to doing, it was safer in there.

A week or two later i had pushed Sara’s visit to the back of my mind when Po randomly brought it up to me and Loz on the college bus home one day, she asked me what i had thought about it all and all i could vaguely reply was that i didn’t know as she hadn’t really said that much.

“Me too if i am honest with you… i think she was putting it on a bit. But it was when she told me that your neighbours house next to you had some guy hanging by the back door that i thought she was really milking it.” She replied and shrugged her shoulders, Now when me and Loz heard this our jaws dropped. Seeing our expression she was confused.

“ok what did i miss?” She asked. Little did she know our neighbourhood was rocked by tragedy two years previously when kizzy’s (my friend next door) brother in law who lived a few yards around the corner hung himself in his house. Theirs was a large family and they very close knit with Kizzy being the youngest of six.

Their cousin was staying with us at the time so we were all in each others pockets and every ones doors were open to all down that avenue. I will never forget arriving home from secondary school and outside both of our homes there was a group of family members and friends absolutely distraught, there was pure chaos and confusion with adults and children alike crying and wailing. It must have just happened and i was bewildered as i had no idea what i had just walked in on, no one was talking because they were in a state of shock. I think they were waiting for the paramedics to declare him dead, only an hour later did Kizzy’s cousin tell me what happened as me and mum tried to calm her down with a cup of tea. I never want to see pain and despair like that ever again.

When we told Po why we were shocked she was pretty freaked out too. I had a little bit more faith in Sara’s words after that and judging by her reaction on the night something had definitely got to her. Luckily the activity at home didn’t seem to get worse or better it just carried on as usual. The only thing that did alter was something happened that made my mother change her opinion and finally confirmed to her that it was all real. After lunch i had been sat on the carpet reading the newspaper and mum was chilling in her armchair with a coffee watching some rubbish day time telly. Something caught my attention and i looked up and noticed she was sat bolt upright, not moving nor blinking like a statue and her eyes were wide. Then i saw it…. someone was ruffling the hair around on the top of her head! She had short spiky hair so you couldn’t miss it. I offered no help what so ever, i just sat there chuckling half at her expression and half at the fact she was being given a taste of what we had had to deal with for all these years.

“Someone is behind you.” I pointed with a stupid grin on my face.

“Shut up Amy.” She hissed the words through a clenched jaw barely moving a muscle as the fear had her paralysed. I just went back to my news paper and carried on reading. After a minute she sort of jolted forward and spun around to look behind her.

“Someone was playing with my bloody hair!” she half shouted at me in surprise.

“I know.. i saw mum, your hair was moving all over the place.” was all i could offer with wry smile on my face.

I realised a couple of weeks later why the house had stirred up the way it had, mum announced we were going to be moving to a little bungalow elsewhere in the village and even though we hadn’t known it up until that point, the spirits did. So began my mothers obsession with moving house. I joke that she must be harbouring some gypsy blood in her somewhere as she does not stay in a home for long. Ironically number 74 was our longest stay in a house, about ten years i believe and after everything that had happened there i was surprised that i was sad to let it go. It seemed to have a strange hold over me and Lil. But fear not it does not end here, because deep down as we drove away from there for the last time i knew there were more than three of us leaving that place…

Photo by Taisiia Shestopal on Unsplash

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Premonitions, foresight and signs.

Have you ever had someone you know pop into your thoughts seemingly at random only to then receive a phone call from them a short time later. I imagine you have, i would think most people have experienced this. This is precognition and probably the most common and easily identifiable form of it. Sometimes when watching a film during a pause in dialogue a sentence will enter your head only for the character on screen to then repeat the words you had just conjured up. Sometimes this can be put down to a script that is predictable or tedious that would be easy to guess, other times if it is something a bit more obscure surely then it can’t be that….can it?

What about the times when an acquaintance or old friend that you haven’t had contact with for months or years flashes into your mind for a brief moment in time, only for you then to hear some life changing news about them. Sometimes it will be good news but sometimes it will be something terrible. I will give you an example of an experience i had like this recently which was heartbreaking. My mums best friend from many years ago popped into my brain a few months back and i found myself wondering how she was doing after all these years. I did think it was a bit strange after so much time had passed and i didn’t think much more of it. Within five days new reached us that her eldest son that i had grown up with sadly committed suicide. Even stranger he had been taken to the funeral home opposite my home, a few yards away. Even though as a clairvoyant i have come to realise that when thinking of someone completely out of the blue usually is an ominous sign, that human part of me wants to push it away and not recognise it for what it is. No one wants to think of former loved ones or those they had once held dear are suffering in some way, empathy is what makes us human and it is these same threads of empathy that connect us all spiritually on another level. These are still small scale examples, but recognising and accepting these signs is important in understanding precognitive thoughts and premonitions. Sadly they are usually an ugly truth that we have to bear until they come to pass and there are many fascinating and traumatic examples through out history.

Minor examples of foresight

Smaller examples of premonitions would be classed as foresight. There was a fascinating case here in the UK a couple of years ago that was brought to the public’s attention on a morning television show called This Morning. A gentleman had woken up from a dream where he had vividly been shown a random mobile phone number, so much so that when he awoke he could remember it clearly and wrote it down. At some point during the day he decided to call the phone number on the off chance to see if it was an existing registered number and was surprised when a lady answered the phone. Not entirely sure how to explain a random stranger calling her he was honest and explained about the dream he had had and how he was curious to see who was on the other end as he surmised he had been shown it for a reason, she was equally fascinated by the whole event and they ending up building a connection and going on to get married. This is a striking and heartwarming account. Following his intuition and the sign he had been given he went with it and found the love of his life.

Here is an excerpt into a study that was done in the 50’s which although individually being small scale premonitions, when combined actually show a clearer picture that amount to something far bigger and unexplained.

W. E. Cox, in a well-known study (1956), analysed the number of tickets sold for 28 passenger trains that crashed between 1950 and 1955. He found that the trains that crashed always had fewer people than similar trains on the same day of the previous week. The data was also analysed for weather conditions, and number of sold tickets on the previous day, week, and month. Because every statistical result can be explained as random fluctuation, the author calculated the probability of accumulating the same statistics randomly. This probability was less than 1/100. In other words, we can say with 99/100 certainty that people really have – and use – their psychic intuition to avoid dangerous situations.

Mass casualty premonitions

These are far more enigmatic and have wide reaching consequences leading to all manner of questions. There are many accounts in the history books and in our modern day world where individuals that will go on to be caught up in horrific events will experience powerful premonitions. In the aftermath of the Titanic sinking a study was conducted by Ian Stevenson a psychiatrist and parapsychologist at the University of Virginia. Stevenson found no fewer than 19 instances of telepathy, clairvoyance and precognition related to the event. Some of the peoples tales that were collected had loved ones aboard the ship, while others had no apparent connection. There were a wide range of transmission forms that ranged from dreams, waking hallucinations or just a general feeling of doom. Have a look into the cases it really is a fascinating phenomena.

Another tragedy which many of us watched in real time was the horrific events of 9/11. Stories came to light a short time after about loved ones who had experienced some form of premonition, some horribly violent and disconcerting. They were collected and published into a book;

Here are some excerpts from the book and articles circulating at the time of its release.

Bonnie McEneaney’s strange journey began with premonitions. Her 46-year old husband, Eamon, a legendary athlete turned trader who worked at the World Trade Center, seemed to have a foreboding feeling in the weeks before September 11th. On September 2, 2001 she said they were at a barbecue where Eamon spoke to his brother about the possibility of the World Trade Center being hit again. He was debating whether he should take people to the roof this time or whether he should try to bring them down the stairs, McEneaney recalled. And in the days that followed, she said it was clear that Eamon suspected he didn’t have long to live.

“One night, I was cooking, he walked in and he said, ‘You had better become more of a disciplinarian with the children because when I’m gone it’s going to be hard,'” McEneaney said.

The morning of 9/11, as Eamon got ready to go to work, his wife said there was another sign. In the shower, Eamon had a vertigo attack — a problem he had developed years before but hadn’t affected him in over nine months.

Here is another;

Some had even stronger premonitions. David McCourt’s wife Ruth was supposed to head to the west coast for a brief trip, but he said Ruth seemed to know she wasn’t coming back. “She was writing notes in her final week to people that she cared for, making amends with everybody,” McCourt said. Their 4-year-old daughter Juliana was supposed to stay home with David that day, but at the last moment, his wife changed her mind.

“She turned to me and said, ‘David, Juliana belongs with me. I’m taking Juliana with me,'” he said.

Both Juliana and Ruth were on one of the doomed flights that crashed into the towers.

Premonitions such as these are strikingly common in mass casualty events. I think if you were to look closely into any large scale events whether they be natural disasters or terrorist attacks there would be several people reporting something similar.

Repetitive premonitions

These sorts of premonitions are mainly experienced as dreams but can also take the form of waking hallucinations or a sign that keeps cropping up on a regular basis. These are more unusual for the fact that rather being a one off occurrence the person experiencing it has to relive it over and over again. There are some theories for this all hypothetical of course but interesting none the less. Some sensitives say they naturally are meant to repeat until the event has passed sometimes becoming more frequent the closer they get to said date. For others it is because the interpretations of them are not correct so will keep replaying on a loop until it feels like its message has been understood correctly only then can it come to pass. Either way it is an odd type of precognition that i am glad that i have never personally experienced as i imagine it would be infuriating to see the same thing played over and over.

ESP premonitions

ESP or extra sensory perception is when someone can feel physical sensations from an event elsewhere in the world or someone else’s pain when they are many miles away. Many people when thinking of this would immediately think of the strange and seemingly spiritual bond that some twins have. My mum a long time ago had a boyfriend called Colin who was in our lives for many years and he was an identical twin, he told me this story over dinner one day. His brother Kev had been at the park with his friends and Colin had stayed at home with his mum, while eating some lunch at the dinner table he suddenly looked at his mother with a serious look on his face and said “Kev has hurt his arm mum.” His mum was quite surprised but sceptical at this revelation but questioned him as to how he knew this information as kev was over a mile away. Colin couldn’t really answer he just told her that his brother had hurt his left arm badly. Not thinking much of it she carried on doing the housework as normal. A short while later Colins dad walked in the front door with a pale faced Kev beside him who was holding his left arm and crying. It turned out he had been climbing up a tree and had fallen seriously breaking his left arm in several places.

In a majority cases of ESP there is usually a connection of some sort between the person which is hurt or distressed and the person experiencing the symptoms or emotions but on rare occasions this is more of a case of random chance, a person being in the right place at the right time and finding themselves experiencing a totally random event from another part of the world.

Premonitions and precognition can be experienced in many different ways and not all are negative, a good portion of them will have happy outcomes or allude to positive life events on the horizon. From visual scenes played out in someones mind to auditory hallucinations whereby someone will hear a random date or numbers that seem to have some sort of significance. Some are dreamt and others are experienced whilst awake and in a lucid state. There have even been reports of photographs that have caught strange phenomena or show peculiar anomalies that some have taken as a harbinger of historical events that have not come to pass yet that are only recognised a such on reflection. I think i will do a post on that later on as i am fascinated by such things caught on camera.

Many people say that when experiencing these flashes from another place in time that they have a strange quality to them, they feel different and something stirs within you as though your consciousness is recognising that this is not yet written. The big question is why do some people experience them at all, there is no doubt some people are born highly perceptive to these frequencies but what about everyone else? who chooses what type of premonitions they receive? I have a theory and it is just that but when i try and visualise energy like this, this is what is see.

This is how i visualise it. The silver lines are threads of energy, truth and messages. The coloured bars are different sensitives consciousness. They are like steps and are tuned in to multiple levels of frequencies. white bars are seers, high functioning beings. Orange is mediums. Green is clairvoyant abilities. Blue is sensitives and empaths. Pink is other people who do not experience this sort of phenomena. The shorter the thread the closer it is to the source therefore more powerful. Different length threads will interact and come into contact with alternative levels of consciousness.

If you experience premonitions or precognitive thoughts it is highly recommended that you keep a written journal with the date and time of the entry with a description on what you experienced. It is an effective and simple way to validate what you are seeing as you can check off any experiences that then happen in real time. There are even parapsychology institutes where you can submit an entry online and it is logged into their archives so if any significant event comes to pass they can see any correlations that hold weight.

I want to shout out to Duke Big Black Spider17 @BSpider17 on twitter who asked me to write a post covering premonitions and their different forms. So thank you for inspiring me and this is what he had to say about his own experiences with visual premonitions and his interpretation of them;

If the image is in colour it’s positive, if it’s in black and white like a TV not tuned into properly (white noise) it’s negative like an injury or loss of a property.”

Photo by CloudyPixel on Unsplash

The parting gift from hell part 1.

I remember the night vividly that everything went from bad to much much worse. I was 17 and in college and dossing at home around tea time with my friend Loz and her boyfriend Ant. I was learning how to play the saxophone and whilst my mum was out at work i thought i would treat them to an awful rendition of a song i had been learning. I mean my 86 year old deaf neighbour next door must have heard the racket, it was truly terrible and although i enjoyed learning how to play the instrument i was clowning around and giving my solo performance some over the top cheesy 80’s pop vibes purely for shits and giggles.

After deafening anyone within a 100 metre radius we sat and chillaxed as the cool kids say just chatting about random nonsense and having a laugh, My sister was out at a friends and i recall remarking how i should call her mobile and get her home as it was pretty dark out now as i drew the curtains to keep the winter draft from creeping through the window frames. Throwing myself down back onto the middle of the sofa with all the grace of a baby elephant that familiar sensation of changing air pressure enveloped me and my mind did that thing where it just stands still in time and my senses sharpened.

The hair’s on my right side stood up slowly one by one like a hairy Mexican wave sweeping the length of my forearm and i felt the pressure of a human being weigh down the cushion seat next to mine. I couldn’t speak as was so often the case. Although i was familiar with this kind of activity my brain still went into panic mode to the point of being useless. I can remember hearing Loz and Ant laughing and chatting away in the background and it became muffled as though an invisible wall had been placed down the centre of the room. I slowly turned my head to my right side and although i could not see him i knew his face was mere inches from mine. The heavy cool breath swept across my face ruffling my fringe for cruel seconds that felt like full minutes. I realised the banter and typical teenage flirting had stopped on the other side of the room.

“Amy what the fuck..?” I somehow dragged my gaze across to Loz and her eyes were wide as she watched the hair framing my face rhythmically move with each exhale of the old guys breath. I clocked that Ant had his flip phone in his hand.

“Get over here now and take a picture…… he is sat right next to me.” I muttered through gritted teeth and i would have gotten a straight ten out of ten for not moving my lips with that utterance as i signalled with my eyes which side he was on. Ant now serious faced and without a second thought jumped into action and started snapping pictures. First one of me face on, then a few more of me on the sofa and then he started to take random photo’s throughout the living room. It was him who first noticed that the sofa cushion was dipping and he persuaded Loz who was previously glued by fear to the other sofa to come and have a look although unsurprisingly she did from behind the safety of him. We could all see the clear indentation and with the chill seeping into my skin from that side i relented and leapt out of the seat and joined Loz behind Ant. I started to experience a low buzzing deep in both ears and the three of us mutually decided “Fuck this!” and fled into the brightly lit kitchen.

We were literally stood there shell shocked looking at one another as words eluded us when the back door behind us burst open. I don’t think i have ever jumped so hard in my life.

“What are you three doing?” Our family friend Gemma was a bit of a wind up merchant and although she had come through the door with the intention of making us jump, you know all in the name of humour, she immediately saw something was wrong.

“Ok .. i was only joking but what are you up to? you all look shifty.” Her grin was replaced with concern as she probably thought she had caught us doing drugs or something equally forbidden. At once all three of us began talking trying to explain that one of the ghosts was in the living room. By this point a lot of people in the village had heard all about the haunting and some of our friends had experienced the major creep factor in our house themselves, hence why a lot of them refused to come in and wait for me to get ready insisting that they will meet me out in the village instead. Intense vibes was the quote i heard quite often from local folk and i could not blame them.

Gemma being the absolute bad ass that she is (i mean no nonsense kick your arse kind of woman) went marching into the living room to size up what was going down, although knowing how cynical she is she probably thought we were scrambling for a cover story to cover our behinds because we were up to now good. We all crept in behind her when Ant said we should check the photo’s to see if we had caught anything. Huddling around his tiny screen the very first image made my jaw nearly hit the floor. The blatant outline of a short squat mans head and shoulders was positioned right next to me. It was so clear because we had the dark coloured curtains closed behind the sofa i was sitting on which highlighted it clearly. He was bald and a bit portly and the outlines of the features on his face were unmistakable, we could see the frames of his glasses and his eyes were wide, almost bulging and the goofiest massive grin drew his lips back eerily. It was like someone had said “say cheese.” It would have been almost been funny if it wasn’t for the fact he was a dead guy and had been creepily breathing all over me at night for years. Gemma our resident cynic was even dumbfounded and grabbed the phone off of Ant for a closer look and looked at us bewildered.

“Go to the next one.” Ant pointed to the button and she started flicking through. The next couple of pictures were clear and then on the fourth taken towards the corner of the room an opaque black shadow roughly in the shape of a person was stepping out from the shadows. out of the ten or so pictures there were four that depicted something unearthly another one had a thick dark grey swirling mist shooting out of the upper portion of the doorway and another was similar but a thin hazy fog that seemed to permeate one section of the room. Gemma insisted that Ant send the photos to her phone via blue tooth and shortly after Loz and Ant left for home having had enough of the paranormal for one night. Me and Gemma left my house and parted ways as i went to meet my friend Po and her boyfriend for a night of loitering around in the cold night air.

I had told them what had happened when Po decided we should film a spoof paranormal show on her camera phone clearly riding high on the thrill of fear. I wasn’t really feeling it knowing damn well i had to go back to the house at some point and i was quite glad when i saw my mum ringing my mobile. I answered and she did not sound happy.

“Gemma met me from work and has shown me the pictures, you need to get back home right now.” She ordered, i tried to protest so i could have a bit longer but she insisted that i quote “Get the fuck home now, when Gemma leaves i am not staying in the house with these things on my own…..and pick your sister up on the way back.” And that was final, i was surprised that she seemed more angry than scared and when i got home i walked into a tense atmosphere, she thought one of us had been mucking around with ouija boards again and had conjured these things up. I had to roll my eyes as i knew it did not work like that but me and Lil insisted that neither of us had touched one for some time. I knew that something had shifted that night, the air felt different and the very walls felt alive. Both mine and my sisters moods seemed to simultaneously plummet into a depression and my insomnia worsened. Now i could kick myself all these years later because only two people had copies of the numerous photos that we took. Ant and Gemma. I still see Gemma from time to time and although it is highly unlikely after all these years i will ask her on the off chance what she did with the memory card from that phone, just maybe she might have it stashed somewhere forgotten in a junk drawer and if she has i will post the images on here.

The house was clearly gearing up for something but we didn’t know what yet. I was studying performing arts at college and would usually get home late tea time back to an empty house. Mum would be at work and Lil would be out somewhere in the village causing mayhem with her friends. I cannot express how much i hated walking into that house, it felt like it loomed over you as you walked through the door and you could feel the atmosphere charging up immediately. I was thankful we had pets and i often kept both of our dogs with me at all times just for comfort and to ease my nerves. I felt eyes on me all the time, like dozens of people were stood around watching my every move, but as i had to rehearse dances and monologues i tried to get on with it the best i could and push the creeping unease far back into my brain…It would never stay there for long.

One night when practising a dance sequence i came to a stop after completing a line of pirouettes as i forgot my next steps. A solid black mass zipped across the room and passed mere centimetres from where i stood the force of the rushing breeze and the shocked terror made me lose my balance and i had to steady myself, Louis our naughty dog back then had been curled up in a ball on the sofa sleeping but he shot off the sofa and started barking in the direction of where the shadow had gone. Being the tough little shit he was he attempted to walk towards the dining room to go after it growling and baring his teeth like something possessed but he would only make it about a foot of the way before darting back like something was rushing at him.

One day when getting off the college bus i started the walk home and my heavy bladder threatened to give out on me the closer i got, i must have been a sight trying to half cross my legs and waddle home desperately trying not to piddle myself. As i awkwardly walked down the path and round to the back door i kept my eyes down, i had gotten into the habit of not looking into the windows as i knew i was being watched. I did my usual routine of hesitating at the door before i could hold it no longer and somehow made it inside, up the stairs and into the bathroom. I have never been more relieved but in my haste i did not close the door and at that very moment i see a solid black mass walk out of my bedroom and into my sisters, It was as tall as the door frame but weirdly my reaction out loud was “Shit, i’m on the toilet.” Before slamming the bathroom door closed. I hated it when the doors to rooms were left open whether in daylight or the night time and i would shrink walking past them as the undeniable feeling of being studied was suffocating. When going up the stairs i would hear the footsteps running up behind me causing me to break into a sprint and charge into my room and onto the safety of my bed. Other times it was a rush of air that tailed me followed by bony fingers poking into my ribs. My sisters room especially seemed to ramp up the activity with objects being moved or tossed into a different place and she would hear shuffling feet on her carpet most nights pacing next to her bed.

We all saw the little black Scottie like dog that would dart across a room and the nightly visits from the breather started up again worse than ever, on a few occasions i felt the quilt around my knees tighten and the mattress sink as though someone was stood on my bed over me with their feet placed either side of my legs. Thudding footsteps were now accompanied by murmer’s that i could never quite make out but it sometimes sounded like two women in a disagreement, and started to happen more in the daytime too. It got to the point where i would get home from college and promptly shut myself in the living room, cuddle up on the sofa with the dogs for security and put the CD player on as loud as i dared so i didn’t have to hear the sound of someone charging up and down the stairs or the floorboards above me creak with the with the weight of a human moving around in my room. I would sit there for hours not daring to move until mum came home and rescued me from the horrifying solitude.

To be continued….

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A spiritual toolbox for defence

I thought i would share with you some of my methods and materials that i use for protection and to create boundaries around the home that should hold fast against most negative spirits or entities. Some of these things are simple and are inexpensive but some of these can also be more complex and used in conjunction with other materials as a way to strengthen one another.

There are several high level entities that would need something more substantial than this or a combination of methods, Demons, elemental’s and shadow people would fall into this category. If you think you are dealing with something more serious i would highly suggest not trying these to cleanse or erect a boundary as that could make things worse. If you need any advice on dealing with entities of this manner and if you want some advice as where to turn then please do reach out to me, i may be able to help even if it is just to point you in the right direction.

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The first method would be prayer depending on whether you are religious or not, to have a good anchor in your belief system is always a powerful method. If you do not pray to a particular God then i can offer you a grounding meditation which is a first line of defence for any sensitives and paranormal investigators as it arms you with a psychic shield. Here are the instructions for the visualisation.

Sit somewhere quiet and have your feet placed flat against the ground. Take a deep breath and visualise breathing in white light, then exhale slowly and imagine you are breathing out darkness. Repeat a further two times. When you are calm and centred imagine roots sprouting from the soles of your feet and feeling and pushing their way down through the surface you are sitting on, then through the concrete and grass and then into the dirt, burrowing deeper and deeper into the earth. Eventually they reach a cavern and as your roots push through into this cavern imagine that here within is a crystal. It can be any type of crystal you want, any colour any size or shape, totally unique to you and your grounding ritual. Let your roots reach down and wrap around this crystal, holding it tight and then imagine a bright golden light emanating from your crystal and travelling up the roots and into your feet. Picture a white bubble encircle your body filled with thick golden white light that is warm and calm. Feel the heat on your face and the let your mind acknowledge any other emotions you feel while wrapped in this glow. Breath in this beautiful relaxing light and breathe it deep down into your legs. Imagine it seeping down all the way into your feet. Again breathe in the light and let it travel into your torso and down your arm’s all the way into your finger tips. On the last breath breathe in the light and let it fill your neck and head.

Let go of the crystal and visualise your roots travelling back up through the dirt and through the concrete and back into the soles of your feet then close your bubble underneath you so your whole body is encompassed without any gaps. You are now protected.

Smudge.

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Many people around the world use smudge sticks to cleanse and protect a space within their homes. Sage is the herb that is burnt and can be paired with other sprigs of herbs or flowers that can enhance the effect. If you are going to make your own though please do check that what herbs and flowers you are burning are safe as some can be toxic or have ill desired side effects. You can buy them online from many new age or or spiritual shops and are fairly inexpensive. I make my own at home and my favourite ones to use are sage, rosemary and rose petals, but i do sometimes switch the rosemary for thyme or mint leaves.

Salt.

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My main go to is salt as i have to erect some pretty sturdy boundaries around my home as i am a magnet for spirits and i always have some on hand for other people or paranormal cases. It has been used for thousands of years in some form or other for spiritual cleansing. There are different types i use for different levels of haunting’s or entities. To erect a boundary around your home with salt you can place a line across your door thresholds and if you so wish across windowsills and replace every six to twelve weeks. Some people will also do it around their property boundary lines outside or in the four corners of each room. If like me you live in a flat and don’t want the neighbours looking at you weird because you have lines of salt outside your front door then you can always put in a water spray bottle add some slightly cooled boiled water and let it sit and dissolve a little. Then just spray a line across the threshold instead. We will start with the most basic that nearly everybody is guaranteed to have in their cupboard.

Sea salt- I use as a general cleanser or sealant. White is associated with purity so this is great for neutralising any negativity. Given it’s use as a preservative and purifier it has symbolically been linked to protective properties. Can be used for boundaries, purifying a room by placing a bowl of it in there for 24 hour’s and neutralising spaces or alter’s.

Pink Himalayan Salt- Allows a loving energy in whilst keeping negative energy out and promotes a happier and calmer atmosphere. A great option for a home with tensions running high whether it is between you and a loved on or your moody teenagers throwing nuclear level strops this also has a lot of the metaphysical properties of rose quartz. You can carry a chunk of this around with you on your day to day travels to absorb negativity from the environment or other people, Is great for creating a psychic shield and you can even use it in your bath, simply one or two cups into the hot water with any herbs if you so desire and let dissolve and voila a calming and peaceful thirty minutes to yourself.

Himalayan Black salt- This is a high level salt for use in spirit work or protection. This will erect a damn hard boundary and will prevent not only negative spirits or entities getting in but it can also ward off people who are malicious or have ill feelings or intent towards you. If you suspect someone is trying to send some bad juju your way invite them over after covering your threshold with this and watch them quickly become uncomfortable when entering your home. I have seen people break out in sweats or start to hive up. Some folks will just feel spiritually off and will not hang around for long. This is why this is a powerful ingredient in wiccan and hoodoo.

Blue witch’s salt- I make batches of this from home and it is easy enough to do. Place some regular sea salt and some dried Eryngium blue thistle into a pestle and mortar or a processor and grind together until fine. As you are doing this focus your intent on the task in hand and visualise this working as a protective charm. If you so choose you can add a few drops of blue food colouring and stir well until all the colour is absorbed by the salt. This is a lot like the Black salt and it’s great for protecting against the evil eye or if you think someone is trying to direct spiritual harm towards you. This is also a very potent measure for Reiki healers who work from home and if someone is sick or in need of healing within the home it is good for purifying the space they are in.

Red brick dust.

Another powerful method of creating a boundary is red brick dust and is heavily featured in hoodoo, wiccan and witchcraft and goes back hundreds of years. Bricks are meant to keep you safe and protected from outside influences and it is in that simplicity lies this methods power. You can buy this online from specialist stores for a decent price. It can be added to mop water as a powerful antidote to warding off negativity. It historically was used as a wash and mixed with either urine, ammonia or vinegar and used to wash the door’s and thresholds of the home, i mix mine with vinegar for obvious reasons. It can be sprinkled over doorways either as it is or mixed with protective herbs and cast across your entrance which leads me onto my next section…

Herb’s.

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Herb’s have been used for thousands of years for all manner of things and protection is definitely one of them. Bay leaves are known as being extremely powerful either for prophetic dreams or as a tincture in warding off the evil eye, purification and gaining clarity of thought. In Mediterranean countries there is a tradition of throwing basil leaves onto the floors of the homes as a way to purify the space, it is a practice which goes back hundreds of years when it was considered a royal herb and it was used in this way creating a smell that was fit for a king. This one can also be used in the bath as a purification method. Mint and rosemary are other herbs that can be used in this way or sprigs thrown into mop water before washing the floors. In fact there are many different herbs with a multitude of properties and uses and it all comes down to preference and what you feel is needed.

Essential oils

Some people like to use essential oils as an easy cleansing method, through the power of fragrance oils and a diffuser you can utilise the metaphysical properties of many different plants. Here is a just a few examples;

Lavender- Clears out stubborn energies from a space.

White sage- Neutralises existing negativity and tension. Also erects a psychic shield.

Juniper- Draws in positivity and protective energies and promotes detoxification.

Neroli- Helps with anxiety and panic and promoted a sense of calm.

Bergamot- Releases emotional pain and is a powerful antidepressant and stress reliever.

Frankincense- Master cleanser and purifier.

Some other little things..

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Crystals are a simple and efficient way to protect yourself especially on the go as you can carry some with you. Black tourmaline is powerful as a protective talisman as are Hematite, smoky quartz and blue kyanite and many others. It is good to see which ones you are most drawn too as these will be the ones that work best within your own energy field. Have a good look around as there are so many options available. Another way is burning white candles to purify a space while visualising the negative energy being replaced by white light and let the candle burn all the way down. There are many different methods and tools we can use to help keep ourselves spiritually safe in this hectic world, and taking some time for yourself to feel grounded again is all some people need. Research and see what calls out to you, i hope this post has helped some as i get asked questions about this all the time.

I found some really interesting information on a website called natalibrown.com go and check it out if you want to read deeper into different types of spiritual protection. I will leave this little excerpt here;

Himalayan Salt is the most beneficial, cleanest salt on the planet. It was formed about 250 million years ago and originates from a time when the earth was absolutely pristine and without environmental impact.

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Simong and the wardrobe.

Now i know what you must be thinking… Amy you have one hell of a typo in your title but here i am going to properly introduce you to Simong. Our relationship has not always been an easy one and as much as i think highly of him now, at one point in my past i wanted nothing more than for him to go away. As i grew up and hit 16/17 i had learned (the hard way) and been advised to leave the Ouija board well alone. Our dysfunctional little family muddled along with the curious and terrifying experiences and dealt with them in our own way. Mum was still in denial to the point of being wilfully ignorant and i was trying to shut them out for the most part. My little sister Lil on the other hand was just starting to dip her toe in the waters of all things spooky.

I mentioned to you a couple of posts back how she was dealing with her own secret hell in her bedroom, well she started to confide in me what was going on and seeing as she had gotten some new bunk beds she decided that as her big sister and protector i should stay in her room with her for a couple of nights and see for myself. Lil’s room was huge compared to mine with a long expanse of windows which provided us ample viewing onto our corner of the street and a good portion of the way down. It was perfect for being nosy when some drama was kicking off and my mum would shush us and tell us to turn of the lights quickly so the troublesome neighbours couldn’t see us spying on them. The head end of the bunk beds were against the window wall and the tail ends faced a large built in wardrobe.

Lil had mentioned a few times about this wardrobe coming open on its own at night and although i didn’t disbelieve her i thought that maybe she wasn’t closing it properly and one of the doors was swinging open a little in the night. But she insisted with her blue eyes wide that there was some creepy stuff going down in her room too. So i stayed in there for three nights in total laying in the bottom bunk in my quilted safety cocoon with my eyes fixed on the wardrobe barely blinking to try and catch some movement. Just as i was starting to get tired and knowing that we had shut the door properly i went to turn on my side when i heard a little voice. “Amy.” Lil whispered my name so quietly it was barely audible but i could hear the fear drip out of that one single word.

I trained my eyes in the darkness on the wardrobe and sure as hell between the white wood of the doors a black chasm was growing wider, slowly at first but it started to pick up speed the more we watched it. I could hear her breathing and i heard her tighten the quilt around herself. I just froze wondering what fresh hell was going to come lurching out of the darkness from within.

Nothing came out, no apparitions or bone white skeletal hands, not even a sound. We just lay there staring at the great black rectangle in the wall. The next two nights i made sure we had latched it closed and checked it several times but again it happened and strangely we never heard the latch click open. As soon as the double doors opened the atmosphere in that room was unbearable and although i imagine our fear was a big part of that we all in time (mum included) came to believe that the wardrobe was a doorway letting the numerous spirits in. Lil bless her did the only sensible thing and started barricading it with toy boxes so she felt safe, more often than not though it was still wide open come morning.

I walked into her room one day when she had a couple of friends over and was annoyed to see they were messing around with a crudely made Ouija board. I tried to warn them off it but she protested with me not to tell mum and the inevitable Don’t you want to know what is haunting us conversation. So i sat and did it with them (insert eye roll here) reasoning that they were probably safer doing it with me as i thought i knew how to close down the board. This was where we got Simong as a name for the first time,we asked for his name again as confirmation and got the same response so we figured his name must have been Simon G (His name it later transpired was G.Simmons and he was giving it to us in military terms, but we will get into that in future post’s.) All these years later he is still nicknamed Simong. I am 31 now and i think he has just learned to live with his new name. It would not be the last time we saw his name come up by a long shot and when the poltergeist activity started in our home i knew it was him and i was angry with myself at the time for letting him in.

It started off as small movements my curtains would billow like wind was coming through my window, the odd small ornament downstairs would move. My mum and grandparents watched in bewilderment one Christmas as a wine glass slowly travelled the length of the sideboard all while turning round in circles mere inches from them. That was the incident that proved to be my mums great awakening. But soon our house seemed to be filled with anger and rage as our tempers flared and we fought amongst ourselves sometimes physically, the very air felt terse like a rubber band ready to snap. It progressed to half a dozen books being swept off of a shelf by force just above my head and scattering all over my room more than once. As Lil started to enter into her horrible, bitchy teenage phase she would have objects thrown at her, once a small pewter cat actually hit her in the face with serious force resulting in a blackened lump just above her eyebrow.

On more than one occasion i had gone downstairs in the morning completely unaware of a vicious midnight purple bruise on my body until someone pointed it out. The worst one was on my calf and i was amazed that it didn’t hurt to touch it was a deep black, violet and was the size of a satsuma and i could never figure out how i had gotten them. But the most alarming poltergeist episode that i personally experienced was when mum had asked me to fill her glass with water from the kitchen as i crossed the dining room and reached the doorway i heard this almighty crack and an explosive shatter. I cowered on the spot wondering what had just happened when mum comes charging in behind me.

“What have you broke now? Amy what was that?” i looked at her dumbfounded as i slowly raised my right hand still holding the base of the thick pint glass, the whole thing had exploded except for the part i was holding and after regaining her colour she checked me over figuring i must be wounded in some way. By a miracle i was not, not a single splinter of glass had embedded in my skin and the clean up was horrendous as we didn’t find a piece of glass bigger that a 5 pence piece. It had shattered in a fan like pattern in front of me.

Through out all of this we noticed that these events would occur in waves and i have heard many people who have lived in haunted homes say the same thing. Four weeks of peaceful calm would soon be abruptly broken by a week of chaos, the air would thicken and grow heavy like you were walking through dense fog soon followed by the heavy footsteps, flitting shadows and whispers that floated up from the darkened corners. I always assumed it had something to do with the moon phases as on a full moon the energy does seem to shift up a few notches. Storms would always bring out the most intense activity and if we had a week of bad atmosphere in our house with the usual family falling outs we noticed that had an effect too.

I have learnt to expect heightened activity during times like these so i have a thorough cleansing with sage smudge sticks and re erect my salt boundaries around my home to try and avoid the more negative spirits and entities who may decide to venture in. I think when you have abilities and are wide open it is a case of minimising the activity rather than banishing it entirely and filtering who is able to come over your thresh hold. Figuring out how to cope during weeks of high activity is a steep learning curve which i will delve into into my next post for anyone who is sensitive and for those who are experiencing activity and want to gain a spiritual tool box so to speak to help them achieve this. Creating a spiritual shield is our first line of defence against the darker forces of the world.

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The cat and the thing.

These are two short experiences i had when i was fifteen years old, one i am pretty sure was not an encounter as such just a peculiar case of high strangeness in the dead of night. The other…… well i’m not entirely sure what it was. I have sketched what i witnessed from memory so you can judge for yourselves.

The Thing.

The regular visits from the elderly gentleman had started to calm down a little bit, much to my relief, so much so that i felt comfortable enough to switch head and tail ends and push my bed towards the wall closing the black cavernous gap that where i would hear the heavy breathing originate. Having grown accustomed to the haunting of our home, i was mentally prepared for anything or anyone to come and try and creep me out.

Rule number one: Expect the unexpected. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to anything related to the spirits. They will always have the last laugh especially when you have grown accustomed to witnessing them in a certain form. Just when you think you have found your comfort zone with them, they will then surprise you and appear in a way that will boggle your mind, leaving you to go back to the drawing board and remind you that these people…. these things are capable of manipulating energy to appear in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways. I am still astounded to this day by some of the quirky, scary and beautiful ways they will materialise.

Rule number two: Think outside the box. Like way outside the box. I have found that the more open to the world of the paranormal, the more downright bizarre it becomes. To the point that sometimes the laws of physics do not apply. I have witnessed a few events where i’m not even sure i can confidently say Yeah that was a ghosts handiwork. Sometimes it seems we are stretching into something far more complex. But we will get into that in later post’s. I digress.

This one particular night i had actually fallen into heavy sleep without much of a fight from my perpetually awake brain. I do not have a clue what time it was when the thing showed up. I do not know how long it was standing there watching me, but i know it was watching me and it wanted me to see it first hand. My eyes shot wide open almost as if held open by some invisible force and i knew in an instant that i was not dreaming because they started stinging and watering like hell at the abruptness of me being stirred awake in a split second. Even though it was pitch black in my room i was instantly faced with this figure stood directly next to me by my bed.

Judging from my position being lay down it wasn’t overly tall. Maybe my height if i had been standing so around 5.1/5.2 I immediately noticed the large round white head as it stood out in stark contrast to my blackened bedroom. It was not a perfectly round shape it was slightly oval like a smooth pumpkin, with large black eyes and it was tilted at a slight angle as if deep in contemplation silently staring at me. I saw no other features no nose or mouth that i recall. Its body was bizarrely thin dressed in something tight fitting and black. The shoulders had a square like edge to them and i remember thinking how could such a skinny body hold up such a big head. It made no sense.

Now you would think that seeing an entity like this would have scared the absolute shit out of me, but the palpable fear that i was used too didn’t sweep over my body, i did not try and hide or sink down under my quilt to avoid being seen and i never felt a chill creep under my skin. I was calm. I stared at it and it at me for maybe ten or fifteen seconds and then it just gently dissipated leaving me alone again in my room. I mentally thought to myself well that was weird looking but i was never frightened of it.

An experience that is hard to visually describe is very frustrating and i tried to tell one of my dearest friends at secondary school (I will call her Po) she was easy to trust as like me she was used to living in a haunted house. It wasn’t until i went to her house one day and pointed at an ornament on her shelf in her room and told her that was the closest thing i could liken it too did she get an idea. It was her Jack the skeleton figurine and to begin with she laughed about it but with my insistence that it very similar minus a few facial features convinced her i really had seen something quite eerie. Po would go on to be one person i comfortably confided in and we would end up sharing a couple of petrifying experiences together.

The thing i witnessed watching me in bed

I believe that somehow that being kept me calm and i instantly felt safe in its presence even though in hindsight i probably should have been screaming my heart out at the appearance of this odd looking entity by my bedside and i sense deep within my bones that it wanted me to see it. So i will leave you with that startling image and let me know in the comments what you think.

The cat.

Two doors down from my house and next door to Kizzies house an elderly lady lived alone. I was never a fan of hers and she always seemed just off to me. We will name her Mrs Bea. A few years previously when we had lived at another address on a different part of the avenue i had been playing a game of football in the street with couple of other children. I had kicked the ball too hard and it accidentally bounced into her front garden. Seeing as she was out there dead heading some flowers i walked up to her front gate and politely asked if i could retrieve my ball. Mrs Bea turned and fixed me with the most vile look and proceeded to shout at me telling me if i did it again she would call the police and that i was a horrid child. I was about nine years old and as i had always been brought up with manners i did not expect this reaction from her as i had never bothered her before.

I was an emotionally sensitive child back then and after she threw me the ball i got upset and went back to the safety of my own front garden a few yards down the road. My mother chatting to a neighbour and having heard her scolding me was not too happy and went over and after a few harsh words came back and told me it was ok and she was wrong to do that.

“Just stay away from the old cow.” she told me and i did just that thereafter. After moving to number 74 i had a clear view of the front of her house and i would regularly see her lugging heavy pieces of furniture around like it was nothing. Now bear in mind this was a pensioner of eighty six and although she was short and stout it was always quite shocking to see her lifting a solid wooden set of drawers or a dresser to give to other neighbours without breaking a sweat. Most young fit adults would have had a hard time and remembering my encounter with her when i was younger i began calling her the witch.

I had experimented with moving my bed parallel to the small window and i was enjoying having a smidge more space in my box room and a view from my bed out onto the street outside. On this particular school night i had gone to sleep at around 1.30am and nothing was out of the ordinary. I woke up out of the blue a little while later and looked at my digital clock to see what the time was. It was 3.30am and i lay there for a few minutes trying to get back to sleep.

This odd urge came over me to look out of my window as i felt that something was going on out there in the dead of night. Compelled i pulled my curtains back a few inches i saw dark houses and the road was empty but my attention was drawn to the end of Mrs Bea’s drive where much to my surprise i saw three cats that i did not recognise sat on the pavement. It was the way in which they were arranged that drew my attention as they were sat in a small circle a few inches in diameter facing inwards towards each other. A short furred tabby sat with its back facing me, next a darker heavy set cat and what looked like a tortoise shell.

I was watching them surprised as they were not fighting and caterwauling waking every body up as they were in such close quarters. It looked intimate and private and i never saw an agitated thrashing tail warning of an impending battle. It just seemed odd like they were communicating in a different secretive way. Now i know what you must be thinking They are just cats doing cat things. I did say this was probably not an encounter, but what happened next sent chills up my spine none the less. The tabby cat that was turned away from me abruptly turned and stared straight at me. I actually dropped the curtain in an instant and let it fall back into its normal place as if i had been caught spying upon something i shouldn’t have been. Seems ridiculous now type it out

I chided myself for being daft, and reasoned they were just cats. So i slowly peeped out of the curtain again just in time to see a neat little line of three cats wandering out of sight and around a corner to conduct their cat like business else where.

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It’s in my bed

At thirteen i started to push the boundaries as most angst ridden teenagers do. Mum and dad had split by this point and he had moved back down south leaving me Mum and Lil at home to try and find our new normal.

Boundary number 1: Mum. We are so much alike in many ways that it was impossible not to clash, both being typical hot headed scorpios backing down was never an option and if she wanted me to be home at a certain time, i sure as hell was going to stay out later. School….pffft i was the only school i needed. Or so i thought with that typical scornful attitude teenagers are prone too, my attendance was shocking and i paid the price for it during my GCSE’s. Friends… Well…

Boundary number 2: Friends. See you knew where this was going, my best friend Ab’s and i got involved in a rather unsavoury crowd. A lot of older teenage guys (not the straight laced sort) and their group seemed an alluring option. The village had a terrible drug problem with the real nasty stuff back then, Heroin (or brown) was just a word and it was not unusual to see these guys just smoke it in front of us. I think about it now and i see how wrong and ridiculously inappropriate that is, but then we thought they were the cool crowd. People didn’t survive long in that village, i think you can see why. Safe to say that caused an awful amount of friction at home especially when my mother got frequent calls to say me and Ab’s were paralytic and could she come and fetch us before someone got hurt.

Boundary number 3: The Ouija board. Knowing that things were becoming off the scale creepy i did what any rational teenager did in my quest for answers and cheap thrills. I invited my friends over for Ouija board sessions.

Yes i know before you shout at your screen “WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?…. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE?!”

I believe we were all naively under the impression that it was a bit of harmless fun. Mum would go to work and i would send Lil off to bed, then a few of us would make up a crude version of a Spirit board on the coffee table and have a go at communicating with something.

At times nothing would happen, but at others the glass would move and spell out words that didn’t really relate to anything. If we were lucky we would get a few words or names that for somebody in the group would make sense. These small instances of triumph spurred us on but soon the words became more threatening and the house started to feel more ominous, one name that we did get on a regular basis was SIMONG. I have a very long history and relationship with SIMONG that is still ongoing to this day and as we delve into each post you will come to learn more about him too (Spoiler alert the encounter below was not SIMONG.).

The secret gatherings only came to a stop when my mum came home early from work one night and completely lost her s**t at finding four of us huddled in a circle in the candle light with our fingers on the glass. I mean she literally screamed at them to get out and i still have etched upon my brain the petrified looks on my friends faces as they bolted out the front door. I so wish that someone had told me back then not to f**k with the spirits.

Staring at the ceiling in my box room when the lights were off and the world outside was dark became my living nightmare. The air would become incredibly dense and heavy. It started out like the rustling of material moving next to my bed like someone was pacing around. Creaks on the stairs turned into heavy footsteps that would thud up and down for a good portion of the night. My stuff started to move in my room. Jewellery would disappear my curtains would billow out at night as though they had been disturbed by a strong breeze even though my window was shut. My books on the shelves above my bed would be in a pile on the floor the next morning when i woke, like someone had put their hand on one end and swept them clean off the other. I could never work out how it was happening without waking me up and i was more unnerved by the fact that these were just a few feet above my head.

Then the breathing started. Just typing this out now gives me the chills and i have wrapped a heavy duty blanket around me as some form of comfort, safety against the open space and room behind me. Old habits die hard. My bed almost fit neatly in my dinky room and if it hadn’t been for the empty gap between the foot end of my bed and the wall it would have been a snug fit.

I do not remember the details of the very first night it happened but i remember that it became a common occurrence and i remember vividly the routine that me and my Mum grew accustomed to when it would start. In the darkness the silence would be broken by a raspy laboured breathing. It would start quite faint and within a couple of minutes it would fill the room even my heartbeat thumping in my ears could not dull the wheezy intakes of breath and the rattled heavy exhales. They came from that black vacant space near my feet. I would shout for my mum through broken sobs and if she couldn’t hear me because she was fast asleep i would scream until she came.

Nervously opening my door and allowing the hall light to flood in was little relief in them few seconds because the breathing continued. Mothers know pure fear in their children’s voice and my god did she hear mine because she would never step foot over the threshold to my room. Just knowing that something so terrifying was going down that all i could do was freeze up and cry like a baby was enough to keep her rooted at the doorway. Mum must have heard it, there is no doubt in my mind although she has never admitted it but i knew that she was scared too i could hear it in her voice.

“Mum please come in here, come and get me. It’s breathing” I would whisper to her, i felt like a lead weight. Moving seemed impossible even though she was literally a few feet away from me.

“Amy get up and come to me.” I would tell her that i couldn’t i was too scared to move in case it grabbed me, That awful sound still filling the air between me and her felt like a physical wall, but calmly she would tell me again.

“Amy i’m not coming in there. You need to come here now.” I would muster up the courage in a burst of motion throw off my covers and a leap clear from my bed to the door and straight into my mothers arms. Slamming the door shut behind us we would run into her room and i would dive onto her bed and bury myself under the quilt. Thinking that my sister would sleep through all this in the next room i would later find out that she was dealing with her own experiences. The built in double wardrobe was harbouring some messed up activity that also kept her bound in her bed, she would lay there and watch the heavy wooden doors slowly open and she would hear disturbing noises like a small child’s voice coming from within. I feel terrible now that whilst mum was helping me she was left to deal with that all on her own, she was just too scared to call out.

The breathing spirit after a few months decided to notch it up a gear or two…. or thirty whichever way you look at it. I was awoken one night to a weight compressing the bed near my feet, peeking over the top of the quilt i saw nothing. Clearly not satisfied with my response it grew bored and after a few minutes the weight lifted and disappeared. The next time it happened about a week later i peeked over the quilt and there was a faint pale hazy outline of a balding elderly man sat there staring at the wall ahead of him. I wanted to draw as little attention to myself as possible so i slowed my breaths down and tried to lay still. I closed my eyes and waited for him to be gone. A couple of minutes later job done off he went and i slightly relaxed my stiffened muscles a bit and tried to get off to sleep.

The next time it was different. The pressure woke me up, just not by my feet. The outer edge of the bed in the middle near my hips dipped, then the top near my head and finally the end of the bed. The quilt down my entire side tightened with the pressure and i felt the solid weight of a person lay there, i was between him and the wall and my freedom was painfully close on the other side of him. Again i stiffened up and brought my breathing down so slow i realised at some points i was actually holding my breath. I didn’t even want him to see one of my eyelids flicker because then he would know i was awake. My brain just stopped i wasn’t capable of thought in that moment, the only thing that registered was absolute dread and my heart beating so fast it sounded like a hum.

In my head pretending to sleep was my coping mechanism with these encounters, i did not want to see his face because i knew it was next to mine and he was facing me, the cool rhythmic breezes across my face alerted me to that. Loose strands of hair would play across my skin with each out breath and the tickling sensation would drive me insane but there was nothing i could do about it. Just be still and wait.

I am not sure if these nightly visits would last five minutes, ten minutes… i just know it felt like an eternity. The strange thing about it is when up close he wouldn’t breathe like a dying horse in my ear, suppose he was considerate like that but all jokes aside as you can probably imagine this really affected me. It happened on quite a few occasions and i soon learnt to sleep with my dressing gown smooshed up around my head on one side and a teddy on the other to cover my ears. I also took to wearing a sleep mask and wrapped myself with my new armour in a protective cocoon inside my quilt up to my head, a small arch above my face allowed for some airflow and it helped me find my own little bit of safe and in turn settling in for the night came a little more easy. I am sure when it came to some of the night visits i had actually fallen asleep for real.

I have only in the last year (ahem… i’m 30. Don’t judge :p) have stopped sleeping like that. The birth of my daughter persuaded me i needed to suck it up and deal with it. I have ditched the bedtime eye wear, the dressing gown too and my well worn teddy sits very close to the bed .. just in case.

I still religiously tuck my feet up though, you know safety first and all that.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Tidbits: Do you believe in the power of crystals?

The moonstone with its creamy banded hues, the chrysocolla a deep and vibrant swirling turquoise or the many different varieties of Agates spotted, dotted, striped, shiny and speckled no one can deny these are beautiful specimens to behold. Nature truly is the most diverse of artist’s.

They have gained a cult following amongst many in the new age and spiritual circles that have flourished in the last few decades. Some people swear by the healing powers of them others just like to have them on their shelves and marvel at the intricate and alluring colours. This is a subject which has sparked many a … well lets say.. “healthy” debate in my household. I have a pretty damn impressive collection of tumblestones and a few raw or carved pieces to boot. I also have the odd pendant knocking around but i haven’t quite worked up the confidence to wear them yet.

My guest’s like to pick through my treasure trove of sparkly delights, asking about each crystal they happen upon and the one peculiar thing i have picked up on is that through mid conversation they will put most the stones back and keep hold of one or two and subconsciously turn them and twirl them over and over in their dominant hand. I do not think a lot of them even realise they are doing it, before a few minutes pass and they return them to their box with the others. Funnily enough this is how i will pick out a gemstone from a pot of many, i will pick them up one after another and roll them between my fingers and my palm until one feels right.

I do happen to believe in the power of crystals, to me it is common sense that they hold some kind of energy. I have used amethyst for headaches and howlite to help me sleep. I will not sleep anywhere near a black obsidian crystal due to the intense and disturbingly powerful dreams i started having when one was near by. The comment i will hear the most frequently is “well they are just stones aren’t they?” even from some of my more spiritually inclined friends. Each to their own i suppose it is what feels right and works for each individual.

My box of crystals some tumbled others rough and natural.

I will divulge why i believe there is more than meets the eye with these stones. We all know that they are the result of minerals or decomposed matter that have been heated and compressed and put under immense forces over millions of years. Motion and movement give way to energy and in the case of gemstones this energy is trapped within the layers of sediment deposit or at the bottom of the ocean with the force of millennia shaping and moulding it . In my mind i picture it like a boiling pot where all these ingredients condense, my logic is that atomic vibrations will react differently within a huge range of minerals and crystalline structures will deflect and absorb energy in a variety of ways.

Are we sensitive enough to pick up on this impossibly minuscule changes. Yes i believe we are after all we are also just composed of atoms doing the very same thing. Now i’m no scientist by any means and i hope i haven’t just written down a load of gibberish, but for some reason this just makes sense to me. There is a number of ways they can be used, many people like to have them in their pockets or in a small drawstring bag on their persons. I know of a few people who will soak them in waters and have a crystal infused elixir. Sounds exotic doesn’t it? But if you want to do this please do educate yourself and research the types of stones you are using some can be toxic!

We have all heard of chakra crystals and grids composed to create a harmonious energy within a home. Lithomancy is something that i have dabbled in in the past and makes a nice change from the usual forms of divination using stones assigned to the planets and tossed onto a circle either drawn on paper or simply in the sand or dirt. Even substituting traditional tarot cards for their corresponding crystals can shake things up. Colour combinations and element based groupings are also an interesting way to incorporate the use of these precious and ancient gems. So you never know next time you come across a shop or market stall selling Semi precious gemstones why don’t you take a moment and see if one calls out to you.

I would love to hear your thoughts below and if you have any questions please do ask.

I am going to be doing a giveaway of a few very special hand crafted clay animal crystal totems on Saturday, so look out for me on twitter at @Spiritinmyshad1

Photo by Dan Farrell on Unsplash

The Keyboard that talked

I am sure that everybody at some point in their lives have experienced true fear. The sort of fear that sinks deep into your bones and anchors you to the spot. A fear that leaves an imprint upon their brain that never fades no matter how hard you try to rationalise or forget. This was my first face to face encounter with true fear at number 74 and my first major encounter with something truly horrific in the spiritual sense.

Not too long after the bones were found in the summer, there was a time of tension in our home. My mother and stepfather were arguing a lot of the time and me and my sister were now in the habit of shutting ourselves away or playing on the estate to avoid the horrible atmosphere at home. It was a Saturday and much to my dismay i had been grounded for a reason i cannot recall, whilst the rest of the children down our road were out basking in the last few mild days before the chill set in, Lil included and they zipped around on bicycles and launched water balloon’s at one another in the street, screeching and shouting at each other as they tried to avoid getting drenched.

True to form my parents were at each others throats as had become the custom and i had been banished to my bedroom which suited me just fine whilst they shouted insults at each other downstairs. I didn’t have a television in my room so i remember doodling in my diary for a short while before it grew boring and wondering what to do with myself to drown out the noise. I went to Lil’s bedroom and took down a keyboard that she had stashed on the top shelf of her built in wardrobe, it wasn’t anything fancy just a simple keyboard that in truth was for children much younger than me as the sound effects consisted of farm animals and the like. I was going through a bit of a phase where i wanted to learn music so i thought i could improvise and at least come up with a basic tune i could practice.

I took it to my little room shut the door behind me and made myself comfortable on the carpet with my back against the cool radiator. I let my fingers dance across the keys freely, experimenting finding the ones that would make the most satisfying tune. After settling on a simple melody that sounded right i practised it a few more times before deciding i would record it and show it to my sister later on when she came home. I pressed the record button on the top left of the keyboard and all at once my excitement was shattered by the sounds of all the sound effects coming on at once, it was a horrendous noise as they all played over one another in this cacophony of disturbed drawling animal calls. A few seconds of this unnerving noise and i came to the conclusion that maybe the batteries were wearing out, and wondered if i had anything nearby with batteries i could swap them with. Before i get a chance to act the sound effects started to die down fading a little into the background but still looping over and over.

A voice came through the speaker’s…. the kind of gravelly, deep, guttural voice you hear in horror movies. It started bellowing out my name far louder than the speakers were designed for. AMY…AMY… AMY over and over again all the while the oink’s, moo’s, cluck’s and tractor noises played in the background like some sort of disturbed sound track to a hellscape. It wasn’t like it was making a sound that could have been mistaken for my name it was roaring it out clear as day. I screamed so hard my lungs hurt and then screamed some more as that awful voice rose above mine trying to drown me out AMY…AMY. I tried to squirm backwards to get away but the radiator stopped me. I tried frantically pushing the red off button but it did absolutely nothing so i shoved it about a foot across the carpet to the middle of the room all the while hysterical as this object continued calling my name.

Mum and dad heard the voice and then my terror from downstairs over their argument. They later told me that they thought a bloke had gotten into the house unnoticed somehow, all logic abandoning them as the chaos coming from above them threw them into a panic.

I remember dad bursting through my door with mum close behind and the look on his face will stay with me until my last days, His eyes were bulging in shock as he clocked where the voice was coming from. Staring at it for a few seconds as it continued to ring out he looked lost, like he did not know how to deal with this situation, then in a panicked reflex he picked it up and smashed it against the floor as hard as he possibly could. The batteries flew out of it and the casing that held the back together became dislodged.

It didn’t stop. I s**t you not. Another 7 or 8 seconds passed by as it continued, before fading and then stopping altogether. The entire house fell silent as we all stared at one another open mouthed completely disturbed by what we had just witnessed. Mum and dad attempted to calm me down before dad abruptly snatched it up and took it straight to the outside bin and threw it in there. My fear induced shrieks had caused a bit of a commotion outside with a small group of kids and neighbours gathering near the front gate wondering what the hell had just happened.

Years later dad having always been a sceptical and practical man told me that that had been the one thing in his life he could never explain. In his own words…

“Yeah that was f*****g weird… i cannot explain that nor do i want to…it was just creepy.”

Even after witnessing what happened and hearing the voice with her own ears mum still never wanted to believe that there was anything paranormal going on with the house. I think it was a comfort thing, just pretend it never happened and carry on as before…. she would soon learn.

Friends of mine had asked me a couple of weeks later what went down and when i told a couple of them they all took the mick out of me. Cue voice of mocking disbelief…

“Aaahhh yeah i’m sure… your keyboard spoke to you, you nut job.” They laughed at me.

I never really lived that one down and i soon learnt to keep my mouth shut regarding anything freaky that went down in that house. I think that is why to this day although i am a trained clairvoyant i never call myself that… there is a stigma around it that makes it an uncomfortable thing to admit. It’s not that i ashamed it’s just i am not here to convince naysayer’s as a few of them seem to believe leading to heated debates. It is something that one has to experience to fully understand and i respect that.

I am still not one hundred percent sure who it was that day who tried in a very alarming way to get my attention….. safe to say i have never owned a keyboard and i don’t think i ever will…. you know.. just in case!

Photo credit Alex lby on Unsplash

The bone pit

Shortly after the phantom hand incident involving my little sister, something rather strange happened that in my mind was the catalyst that rained down havoc on our house. I mean it was already creepy as hell and judging by her reaction to that night and the strange sounds and sensations i was experiencing i suspected something was up. Now this is an account that i posted about on reddit so i’m not going to copy and paste because that would be super lazy. I am also going to change names as some of the people involved still live around that area and i stress that i am not making any assumptions or accusations, i am just relaying what happened. So here it goes.

It was a sunny and particularly humid day, i was with my little sister who we shall call Lil my best friend Ab’s my next door neighbour kizzy and her nephew Mike. Apart from my sister we were all in the same class at primary school so we were the same age and all lived within close proximity. We had made little dens all over that estate in tree enclosed dykes, sheds in back gardens the usual places kids like to hide away with penny sweets and magazines. It was a lot different to today where every kid has a mobile phone, a tablet and a fandangled technical watch on their wrist so we just made our own entertainment to waste away the days.

One of our little dens was down the gravel track that separated mine and kizzie’s house that led to the row of garages behind our gardens, just before the main road that ran behind the estate. It had trees and thickets and a little murky hidden away pool of stagnant water. We could be mere metres from our homes and our parents would never have known where to find us, much to their horror i’m sure. The five of us were secreted away right at the end of the row surrounded by a little cove of tree’s, the four of us girls were perched awkwardly on a concrete ledge while Mike was stood up doing absurd impressions of teachers at school much to our amusement.

Now the very end garage that we were sat next to was owned by a guy who lived a couple of doors away from me, he was intense and a little creepy to say the least. Somebody at some point had gone to the effort to vandalise just his garage with spray paint. It had painted on it the words (cue eye roll) REDRUM then underneath BELIEVE IT. A cliche choice of wording i’ll admit and it was a tad odd that his was the only garage that had been targeted, i mention this because this may be relevant to what we discovered next.

As Mike was doing his impressions my attention was drawn to the worn dirt patch where he was standing. To me it looked like it was moving in a calm liquid like motion. I have never had an experience or seen anything like that since.

“We need to dig there.” I blurted out pointing to the ground that he was standing upon. Mike fell silent and everyone just looked at me, the randomness cutting our fun short.

“We need to dig there, there is something under there.” I repeated. I explained to the others that it looked like the ground was moving like water and i was surprised nobody else saw it, so after some convincing me and Lil and Kizzy crept into our homes to arm ourselves with table spoons and butter knives to start ploughing up the dirt. Each of us with a bit of cutlery in hand started digging in a little circle. I don’t think we spoke much, this intense concentration had come over us all like we knew we were going to find something.

About a foot and a half down Kizzy hits something hard with her spoon, peering into the pit we had just made we could see something chalky and solid jutting out of the exposed earth. Pulling it out with her hands. It was a bone about 4 inches long. After scraping off the dirt we could see it was a creamy yellow colour, one end was sharp and jagged clearly having been snapped. We are all clearly spooked by this point and this strange atmosphere had come over us.

“It’s probably just an animal bone.” Mike tries to tell us, Ab’s was clearly freaking out at this point but something compelled us to keep digging. Finding more the deeper and wider we went we collect this morbid pile of skeletal remains, i think there were about 15 in total. Some were a fair size other small broken fragments. We end up collecting them up in a sandwich bag and taking them to school the following Monday. The poor teacher, her reaction was priceless as me and Ab’s marched up to her first thing in the morning and dumped this bag of bones on her desk, She assured us with a grimace on her face that it was more than likely just cow or sheep bones as she put them in her drawer and we left it at that. Never heard anything about it again. We never reported it because we had convinced ourselves that it was just animal remains. Something in hindsight i regret.

That was my first true paranormal experience. I know that if i hadn’t witnessed the ground moving in that odd fluid like motion we would never have found them, does that mean that they were significant in some way? Activity in the house would spiral into the depths of absolute terror after this event so maybe it is relevant. Did the strange graffiti scrawled on that garage door imply someone was responsible for some wrong doing? Again i don’t know. A few years later rumours about our house did the rounds and the one thing that i did keep hearing was about a couple of children dying in our house in some horrific way, i do not know if it was true but we did have a child spirit in that house as it turned out.

In the last few weeks a realisation has dawned on me regarding something a medium told me on our first meeting, she had told me that the little girl had followed me from that house along with another. Nic also said that not long after i had moved in that i had found something that had belonged to the little girl. Something Red…. I had no memory of finding anything physical that was red. Maybe i was thinking about it too literally. The garage door and the words REDRUM BELIEVE IT have been playing on my mind recently.

I just cant help but feel like there is my answer to something that has puzzled me for years. Maybe i am clutching at straw’s. But what do you think i would love to hear your take on it.

Photo credit Annie Spratt on Unsplash