I have been away from this blog for a long time, far longer than i had intended. Each time i felt the pull to write about my experiences life had a funny way of throwing a hurdle full force at me in the name of life. Life glorious life…. its a messy bugger isn’t it?
But i am back, older definitely a whole lot wiser ( don’t fret i have used my messy time very well learning) and i am ready to open up again about the bizarre goings on that have surrounded my life since i was 11 year’s old. So i will warm up this blog gently and start with a curious tale of something so profoundly strange i am still not too sure Who or what i fully experienced to this day.
Let’s jump back in time to when i was 18. This was before we had moved to Sussex and then moved back to lincolnshire again (moving house was the theme of our teen lives) we moved for a brief time to a small bungalow on the outskirts of the village where the ominous number 74 was based. This was the bungalow where the ball vanished in my previous account. I was going through a particularly difficult time with my mental health and in all honesty i was at a horrendously painful tipping point. I was dealing with persistent and invasive suicidal thoughts and self harm episodes and i am ashamed to say it but i had reached a point where i saw no other way out.
One evening after crying myself to sleep i had finally managed to fall asleep when a couple of hours in i was woken up by someone gently kissing my forehead. They had cold lips i remember that detail distinctly and at first i thought my mother had crept into the bedroom to check on me and had leant over to kiss me goodnight. I opened my eyes to ask her what she was doing and was surprised to find myself all alone in my bedroom. Even though it was dark i could still see no one else was in the room and was utterly confused as to what i had just experienced. I didn’t feel alarmed as such just startled and a strange feeling of peace came over me.
I don’t know what it was about that encounter but i just knew it deep in my bones that i was going to be ok in that moment and to this day i am thankful for whatever force, person or spiritual entity soothed my soul that tear filled night. Although i had serious relapses with my mental health over the next few years i always pulled through and i have often thought about who it was that came to me. Was it a family member passed on, some wandering spirit who sensed my pain or maybe an angel trying to lighten the heavy emotional load i was carrying at that difficult point in my life.
I do not know and i am not sure if i ever will, but i like to think that they are somewhere nearby keeping a close eye on me.
Image credit Photo by Alireza Helmi on Unsplash